Holding Tank Horrors

A company called Hydro-Agi sponsors a contest each year in which RVers tell of their worst sewage system disasters. Here are a few entries from previous contests as reporte

Tough part of town.

d in RV Business.

-- An RVer improperly wired his macerator pump. "I opened the hand flush valve on the toilet to see if the tank was emptying. To my surprise, I was instantly covered (as

well as) the walls and ceiling."

-- A woman discovered the hard way that a bevy of raccoons had "thoroughly ventilated" an otherwise dry sewer hose. "I took three showers. The smell was bad enough around our trailer that the raccoons never came back."

--A honeymooning couple witnessed their holding tank fall off their RV. "We saw it bouncing end-over-end down the highway, spewing its contents as it careened along. Then came a big rig, spraying the following cars and motorcycles."

The parrot that wouldn't shut up

Ray, an RVer from Omaha, travels in his motorhome with a talkative but foul-mouthed parrot. One day in a campground near Gila Bend, Ariz., the bird's swearing got to be too much. So Ray grabbed it by the throat and yelled "Stop it!" But only minutes later, the bird was swearing again.

Notice the "For Sale Sign." The basic problem with a drive-thru RV park is that everybody just drives though. Nobody stays. Daaaa?

The next day, the bird yelled so loudly that the couple next door in a big fifth wheel stopped by to demand its silence. Desperate, Ray locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. But it didn't help: the bird kept right on swearing. The next day, the bird was even worse. So, as a last resort, Ray tossed it into his spacious Dometic freezer. After five minutes, all was quiet. Worried the bird might be freezing, Ray took it out. "I'm sorry," confessed the suddenly polite bird. "I promise to never swear again."

Ray was astonished. He couldn't understand the change in attitude.

"By the way," asked the parrot, "what did the chicken do?"

Saved by her Winnebago

A young, pregnant RVer named Sally was involved in a traffic accident, but because she was riding in a sturdy Winnebago, she survived, although she was left in a coma. When she awoke a few days later in the hospital she was no longer pregnant! She asked her doctor, "What happened?"

He replied, "Sally, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. Your brother named them for you."

"Oh, no!" shrieked Sally. "Not my brother! His elevator doesn't go to the top floor, if you know what I mean!" The doctor replied, "Well, Sally, your brother named your daughter Denise."

"Whew, that's not so bad," she replied, looking very relieved. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew," he said.

Mistaken positioning

Joe and Ed, both from Duluth, Minnesota, were standing in the shallow end of a swimming pool at the Fountain of Youth RV park at California's Salton Sea, discussing how happy they were to be in sunny California rather than being back in frigid Minnesota. As they were talking, Ed noticed something funny about his friend's ear. "Joe," he said, "do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Startled, Joe replied, "I have a suppository in my ear???"

"That's right," said Ed, "you have a suppository in your ear."

Joe immediately pulled it out, then said, "Thanks, buddy. I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I know where I put my hearing aid."

Yikes! We don't know who took this photo or where it was taken, all we know is that we're glad it's not our rig! Jed Clampett would be right at home, eh?

Above photo courtesy of http://www.calpoly.edu/~gharvey/RVLinks.html

Poor Mr. Maxwell. . .

Few people know that the late Mr. Maxwell, founder of Maxwell fHouse Coffee, was a veteran skydiver and RVer. Near his hometown, it was common to find Mr. Maxwell at the airport in his Avion Fifth Wheel, relaxing and visiting with his many friends as he waited for his next jump. One fateful day, however, something went terribly wrong, and his parachute failed to open. His friends and employees were horrified, to stay the least, at the demise of this very kind and gentle man. And so when it came to preparing his epitaph, they had no problem finding the words: "Mr. Maxwell . . . good to the last drop."

Laugh some more!